Hey, Mama!
A mantra of mine is “Education is Power!” Knowing, practicing, and preparing for delivery will help tremendously awaiting your little one’s arrival.
I know the idea of labor and delivery can feel really scary, especially when it's your first time. Trust me, you’re not alone. Below I have some tried and true tips on how to make the big day less scary for both you and your partner!
1. Know What to Expect
One of the best ways to calm those nerves is to get familiar with what will happen. Seriously, knowledge is your best friend here. Consider taking a childbirth class. Depending on where you give birth, your hospital may offer in-person classes. (I offer virtual classes on my website–so you don’t have to leave your cozy home!).
In those classes, you’ll learn the different stages of labor, pain management options, different techniques, and what your body is doing each step of the way. Sure, you can watch hundreds of reels and listen to all of the birth stories of your close family and friends. However, gaining knowledge from a professional can be quite different and super beneficial. They have the education and so much experience to be able to share commonalities and amazing preparation. Should your partner attend? Yes! This is a great chance for your partner to feel more prepared, too. In my own classes, I demonstrate strategies as well as comfort measures to begin DURING pregnancy and then the partner practices while I provide feedback. Your partner will feel confident, empowered, and helpful.. Both of you will know what to expect and be ready!
2. Write Out A Birth Plan (But Be Flexible!)
Writing down what you’d like to happen during labor can give you peace of mind. This is a great tool to use while preparing because it will motivate you to look into different options and interventions to educate yourself. I also utilize them with clients as a tool for reflection. Showing up at the hospital and handing all decisions over to the medical staff is likely if you haven’t had the time to prepare. Another reason I utilize birth plans is as a communication tool. Going through each option and desire prior to labor with the partner and mom helps everyone be on the same page with mom’s plan. Do you want your partner chilling in the corner of the room? Or do you want him/her with you, putting you in different positions, providing affirmations, and advocating for you? By the way, even if you plan on an epidural, please understand you will have some contractions prior to the medication being administered; therefore, all mommies with all pain management preferences need to be prepared.
When you arrive at the hospital, having your birth plan as a hard copy is received well from most hospital staff. This is your chance to communicate your pain relief preferences, who you want in the room, or any special requests you have. And yes, your labor might not all go exactly to plan – and that’s totally okay – but just knowing your preferences can make you feel more in control when things start rolling.
As you write out your birth plan, don’t forget to think about plan bs and cs. This helps you adapt and adjust to any changes that may arise. While labor is happening, having your partner and/or doula prepared to advocate for your desires while you are working through contractions will help keep you on track for your desired birth.
3. Pack Your Bag Early
Trust me on this one – having your hospital bag packed early will make you feel so much more prepared. There are plenty of detailed lists.
I like to keep things simple and easy. In my opinion, after three hospital births myself, you truly only need: a dark-colored robe, cozy socks with rubber grips (the hospital ones don’t cut it), your favorite snacks (the cafeteria may be closed), chapstick, and a comfy maternity outfit to wear home.
Did you know you can also bring meals that you can heat up? Most hospitals have a commissary with a microwave. Throw some food in a cooler to heat up for you and your partner later on.
If you would like to create a peaceful atmosphere in your hospital room, bring battery-powered tea lights, icicle lights, and an essential oil diffuser. Creating a homey and peaceful energy in your room will help relax you. Be sure to pack extension cords or long-corded chargers and blocks. Your partner will need a pillow (or two), and warm clothes (you may be having hot flashes and will need your room chilly. My partner was freezing!) Having these little comforts ready will make everything feel less rushed and more manageable when it’s go-time.
4. Practice Breathing (Yes, It Really Helps!)
I know everyone says it, but deep breathing really does help during labor. Take some time to practice different breathing techniques beforehand – they can help you stay calm and focused. Partners, you will be her coach. Practice coaching the breathing steps with her. Yes, it may feel silly, trust me. It’s something small, but so powerful.
Types of Breathing Techniques
5. Consider Hiring a Doula
A doula is like having your own personal cheerleader, advocate, educator, and guide during labor. They provide emotional and physical support, help with comfort techniques, and make sure you’re feeling supported the entire time. It’s like having an extra friend and nurse by your side who knows exactly what you need when you need it. Partners, you’ll love this too – it helps take some pressure off, so you can focus on being there for the mama emotionally in a loving way, just as important as the role the doula plays.
My favorite experiences are when mom, partner, and I are all working together. Oftentimes, the partner is able to provide strong physical counterpressure and loving words. I am able to provide education, best positions to move through, advocate to the medical staff, as well as coach face to face through breathing, visualizations, and honestly, whatever the mom is responding well to.
6. Trust Your Body – You Were Made for This!
This one is HUGE. Your body was literally made for this moment. Labor can be hard (I won’t sugarcoat it), but each contraction brings you closer to meeting your sweet baby. Trust in your strength and in what your body is doing. Take it one moment at a time – you’re so much stronger than you even realize.
I’ve worked with and witnessed moms working through each contraction and then smiling between them!
It’s OK to Be Nervous
Listen, it’s totally normal to be nervous. EVERYONE feels that way, no matter how many times they’ve given birth. It’s part of the process. Acknowledge the nerves, but try to focus on the excitement of what’s coming – meeting your baby! You’ve got this, and you’re not alone.
Labor and delivery are big deals, but they don’t have to be terrifying. With a little preparation, the right support, and a whole lot of trust in yourself, it’s an experience that can bring so much joy (even through the tough moments). I’m cheering you on – you’re going to do amazing!
Sending you all the love and confidence as you prepare for the big day!
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